Babble Australia

Early 70s Must-Listen Music: The DeFranco Family

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 08:28:51 +1100

One of us here at Babble.com.au HQ just had a Doppler on her 18-week preggers tummy – and couldn’t get this song out of her head!

They just don’t make ‘em like this anymore, do they? More’s the bloody pity – modern music is just so rubbish, comparatively speaking, don’t you think?

And now, to make me sound like even more of an old fart…

I can remember this song so clearly – even though I would only have been about five or six years old when it was playing incessantly on the car radio. What a winner! And that little Tony DeFranco? Such cute stuff. We love all their moves – but the one Tony does at 1:57 is our absolute fave.

Anyone else remember this? And does anyone know what year it was such a big hit in Oz?

Babies Cry In Different Languages

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:03:01 +1100

Newborns seem to be getting smarter and smarter by the minute. First, fetuses learn how to distinguish external sounds during the last trimester; then infants start sending explicit messages with their cries; and now, we discover that babies are born with regional accents.

An international team of researchers studied the cries of 60 newborns, 30 of which were German and 30 of which were French. Across the board, the sound of the babies’ cries followed a clear pattern. According to Reuters, “French newborns tend to cry with a rising melody contour, while their German neighbours prefer a falling melody shape — patterns which the researchers said fit with characteristic differences between the two languages.”

It makes sense that a baby would learn to mimic her parents’ voices as early on as possible, in order to better communicate with them. But little do these bundles of joy know – well, actually, come to think of it, of course they know – that a blood-curdling wail is always an effective attention-getting device… in any language.

Photo: minti.com

Marshmallows Or Murderers?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:23:33 +1100

The other day, a co-worker, knowing that my kids do not watch scary or violent films and that we eschew excessive competitiveness, said I was raising marshmallows. While I disagree with him for a number of reasons, he is correct in that I am doing my best to raise kids who don’t find violence amusing or acceptable. That’s why, when I came across an article about the recent gang rape of a 15-year-old Richmond, California girl, I found it especially interesting.

A woman writing at Moveovermommy.com, who also happens to be a lawyer working with children from broken or troubled homes, offered some insight into the sorts of kids who could watch such an atrocity, let alone participate. She says that these are “boys and girls who have faced so much turmoil in their short lives, have seen so much ugliness in their family and neighbourhoods and have received so little support that their sense of humanity (to the extent it ever existed) left them long ago.”

That actually makes a lot of sense. While I still don’t think I’m going to let my kids watch scary or violent movies or play violent video games, I am going to make sure they know they are well loved and fully supported in everything they do. In the big picture, however, as Moveovermommy writes, the real issue is “something far more primal about what is missing for these and other children in our communities — a steady, loving presence in their lives that provides security, stability and time and space to believe in a better way.” As a society, I think we need to concentrate more on making sure that all kids have a loving and stable home as they figure out how to get along in this world and, yes, how to be human.

I have to offer my thanks to this woman and the many others who work with these kids and take them in and help make incidents like the one in Richmond a rare occurrence.

Photo: whatimeanttosay

Bad Dog Handler = Bad Parent?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:33:32 +1100

Every few months something crops up on the Internet linking the way people care for their pets to their would-be parenting skills. Everyone runs with it. We parents fight it. The cycle continues.

So what makes this one different?

Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax isn’t talking about neglectful dog owners who aren’t fit to raise a poodle – never mind a person. She said this week that ” dog-rearing style is a deadly accurate predictor of child-rearing style.”

Specifically – people who don’t set limits for their dogs won’t set them for their kids. OK, fair enough Ms. Hax – it’s a sign of a permissive nature in an adult. A bit of a pushover even. People don’t change. A pushover is not suddenly going to become a strict disciplinarian.

That said, a dog is still a dog. Because they can’t talk (you know what I mean) or get up and get their own food out of the cabinet – or for that matter, understand why they SHOULDN’T eat the food out of the garbage can – most dog owners are willing to give them a mile where we’d otherwise give an inch. Yes, even dog owners with strict feeding schedules and a good grasp on discipline. Part of being a good dog owner is understanding the difference between dog and human.

If I had to be honest with myself, I give the dog more leeway than the child. Sure, she’s only four, but she’s also moved past four “legs” (crawling) and onto two. She’s beginning to grasp right from wrong and able to get her own cup of water from the fridge door. I’ve also gone past the stage of dog owner to parent – and that makes a major difference. Where there was time to discipline and work with a dog pre-kid, the canine has turned wildebeest thanks to a sort of benign neglect (she’s fed and watered by an adult and played with daily by the pre-schooler).

So pushovers don’t stand up straight suddenly. But stand-up people can be pushed over by parenting.

Image: jpctalbot via flickr

Dad Turns In His Own Kid For Drugs

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:48:00 +1100

A father has turned in his own teenaged daughter for growing pot inside the family home.

The 16-year-old girl kept her wardrobe locked – which she told dear old Dad was a move to keep her siblings from borrowing her clothes (not a bad excuse, we’ll give her that). But according to Click On Detroit, when he decided to try his key against the lock, he found it didn’t work.

He got suspicious – and somehow got the wardrobe door open. Inside was a marijuana plant and items necessary for growing. Good Dad for being on top of things, but his next step is controversial: he called the cops. Now the teenager is facing charges.

If she’s treated as a juvenile (and currently it’s in the hands of the juvenile unit of the police department), there’s a chance that she’ll be punished, learn her lesson and the matter will be sealed. On the other hand, it could remain open book, and she could be haunted by a teenage indiscretion for the rest of her life. Prospective employers don’t like seeing a drug arrest on your record.

So what’s a parent to do? If your teen is out of control – and growing drugs in her bedroom would seem to fall under that umbrella – action is always the best policy. But police action? It might have the sobering effect that parental punishment simply can’t achieve. But it might send the kid spiralling down into a (hopefully brief) descent into hell.

Chances are, it will straighten her out.

But it’s still calling police in to take over the parents’ role in discipline, and it could have a devastating effect on her future. What’s more – in the grand scheme of things, growing pot is not on par with, say, dealing heroin – or, let’s face it, murder or rape. It’s not legal, no question, but it’s a very personal problem that probably won’t hurt anyone else.

It’s a roll of the dice – what would you do? Would you call the cops on your kid for drugs?

Image: notsogoodphotography via flickr

Finally Jon And Kate Act Just Like Us

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:32:07 +1100

There’s a big headline over at Us Weekly that’s intended to make Jon Gosselin look bad. For the first time ever, it had the opposite effect.

Turns out Jon and Kate Gosselin are finally in the same boat as the rest of us – just with eight kids and oodles of dollars earned pimping said kids to the world. They have to split their holidays.

The headline, by the way, reads: Jon Gosselin to Spend Thanksgiving With Hailey, Not the Kids. Turns out Kate will take the kids for turkey day, so his girlfriend has invited him over so he won’t spend the day alone.

Yes, Virginia, it happens to the best divorced couples out there. Sometimes meted out ahead of time in the custody agreement, sometimes left up to parents to hash out together, the holiday plans for divorced couples tend to get more complicated as the holiday season progresses.

Thanksgiving is just one meal – but there are two sets of grandparents and all those aunts and uncles having dos to deal with – and that’s hard enough to deal with when you aren’t divorced. Married couples always end up pissing off one side of the family. Divorced ones often piss off both – or force the kid to stuff themselves on two meals and spend the day running like a turkey with its head cut off.

Move onto the gift-giving holidays (choose your fancy – Christmas or Hannukah) and it just gets worse. How can grandparents spoil the pants off that cute little grandchild if they aren’t around? Who wants to spend their holidays without their favourite little person?

Answer: keep all that stress and neediness to yourself. Let the kids keep their holidays bright and merry by keeping competition to a minimum and making some trade offs.

Even if that means giving up your day entirely and letting the kids eat with your shrew of an ex while you eat turkey with your trophy girlfriend. Hey, no one said it was easy living the big life.

Image: Just Jared

They Say: Common Meds Linked To Birth Defects

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:15:58 +1100

Pregnant women, beware. This is one of those reports on a study that will make you want to tear your hair out. Why? Because you’re sort of damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Still, here goes:

Researchers looking into antibiotics use during pregnancy have found a link between birth defects and the medicines commonly used to treat urinary tract infections. Oh, but wait. Allowing bacterial infections to go untreated during pregnancy has also been shown to harm the fetus.

The advice?

Don’t avoid antibiotics, just talk to your doctor about your choices. (See? You’re ready to start yanking on hair.)

In summary, the study found that mothers who had children with birth defects were more likely than other mothers to have taken the following during pregnancy: sulfa drugs (brand names include Thiosulfil Forte and Bactrim) and urinary germicides called nitrofurantoins (brand names include Furadantin and Macrobid).

Why are we only now finding this out? Well, these antibiotics have been used for decades to treat UTIs, etc. In fact, their use during pregnancy predates a Food and Drug Administration requirement for rigorous safety testing. In fact, the absence of rigorous testing on all antibiotics taken during pregnancy means that none get the “A” grade — meaning known to be safe medicines to take during pregnancy (Tylenol, for example, gets an “A”).

The study, published in November’s US journal Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, looked at 13,000 mothers from 10 US states whose infants had birth defects and 5,000 women who lived in that same region and gave birth to healthy babies. The mothers were interviewed by phone from six weeks to two years after giving birth. The mothers who had taken antibiotics up to one month before getting pregnant through the first three months of pregnancy were considered “exposed.”

The types of birth defects linked to sulfa drugs included rare brain and heart problems, and shortened limbs. Those linked to nitrofurantoins included heart problems and cleft palate. The drugs seemed to double or triple the risk, depending on the defect.

Though researchers say — more tearing of hair here — those defects may also have been caused by the infection being treated. Also? Mums’ memories are a weakness in the study, as subjects sometimes couldn’t recall the medicines they had taken.

If you’re in NSW and have been prescribed antibiotics or are simply getting an over-the-counter treatment, do call MotherSafe to get advice on exactly how safe it is to take in pregnancy –
9382 6539 (metropolitan area)
1800 647 848 (non-metropolitan area)
Open Monday-Friday, 9am-4pm, excluding public holidays.

So what about you? Did you take antibiotics shortly before or during pregnancy?

Photo: buzzle.com

Women Shamed Outside Court For Stealing From Kid

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:43:47 +1100

Two adult women stood outside a Pennsylvania, USA courthouse for four and a half hours with giant signs: “I stole from a nine-year-old on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!”

A little girl had placed her gift card on a shelf while a Wal-Mart employee assisted her – ostensibly with her purchases. The women – 56-year-old Evelyn Border and 35-year-old Tina Griekspoor – grabbed the card and took off.

Talk about stealing candy from a baby.

According to an NPR report, Border and Griekspoor have agreed to plead guilty to theft – and they’ll receive a lighter sentence for agreeing to stand outside the courthouse with their signs held up. They’ll most likely face probation rather than have to do time in jail.

The little girl’s mother said she made it a point to swing by the courthouse to show her child the importance of obeying the law. No doubt being a victim of a crime helped cement that one in this little girl’s mind as well.

This sort of punishment has been used a lot on kids in recent years – shame works well on them because they’re still caught up in what other people – other kids – think of them. It’s more rare to see it done on adults. But hurting a child is considered one of the lowest crimes possible (hence even hardcore murderers turn on child molesters in prison) – the shame factor is high.

Is this the sort of punishment that should be wielded more often by judges dealing with crimes on kids?

Image: AP

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Mummy, Can I Make A Facebook Profile? Please!?!?

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:29:10 +1100

Mum and Dad delight in rediscovering old chums. High-schooler James uses it to make plans, publish funny photos and check out the spunks who are friends of friends. But now, 10-year-old Abigail wants her own Facebook page. Should you let her?

Both Facebook and MySpace require users to be thirteen, but…come on. Site administrators may not know that a portion of their users still have Dora the Explorer dolls languishing on their beds and, even if they care, will most likely not find out. Is this a bad thing? Opinions from experts fall all over the map, as CNN found out when it recently raised the question.

Kaveri Subrahmanyam, a professor of psychology at California State University Los Angeles is okay with kids having profiles: “For the most part, although there’s so much press about all the bad things they’re doing, much of what they do on these sites is stuff they would be doing anyway.”

“You’ll always have the small minority of kids who are not using it appropriately,” she said. “I do think you’re going to have a few people that are doing things that kids probably couldn’t do with telephones a generation ago.

“But we don’t want to get swept away by the general fear. It’s here, and it’s pretty harmless.”

Susan Greenfield, an Oxford University neuroscientist and director of Britain’s Royal Institution isn’t so sure kids will emerge unscathed after using these sites too early in life. She believes that our kids run the risk of “infantilising” the brain, resulting in an increasingly short attention span.

Some therapists have even warned that pre-adolescent use of these sites could pave the way to a full blown 12-step-worthy internet addiction come adulthood.

One thing not up for debate is the fact that the number of younger kids who are actively using these sites is growing each day.

And so, proving yet again that there is no trend in the universe that someone, somewhere, won’t capitalise on, a growing number of networking sites have sprung up that are targeted directly at the training bra set. Disney’s Club Penguin is primarily a gaming site, but has a few social functions. Web Kinz and Whyville feature restricted and supervised networking.

So how young is too young? 10? 8?

Read the whole story here.

They Say: Kids More Stressed Than We Think

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:14:44 +1100

Think your kids are stressed? According to the American Psychological Association, you don’t know the half of it. The APA just released their Stress in America survey and for the first time ever, they included young people in the study. Not only did they discover that kids are more stressed than you might think, they also found that parents are often clueless about what their kids are worrying about.

More than 1,200 kids aged eight to 17 were polled about issues relating to stress and, not surprisingly, 44% said that they worry about doing well in school. What is surprising, however, is that 30% of those surveyed admit to worrying about money. No, not their pocket money – kids are worried about the family finances.

More interesting stuff after the jump

In this economy, with so many parents worrying about money, it shouldn’t surprise us that our kids are picking up on it. But when asked what they thought their kids were worried about, the parents in the survey pointed to extra-curricular activities. In reality, only about 10% of the kids surveyed said non-school activities were a source of stress.

Also interesting was what the survey revealed kids were not worrying about. Despite the fact that many parents assumed their children worry about family relationships, only eight per cent of kids agreed that their parents were a source of stress.

The upshot, says Stanley Greenspan, a clinical professor at George Washington University, is that parents need to tune in to what their kids are really feeling. Thinking that you are shielding them by not discussing financial worries is a mistake. They know what’s going on and they are worried.

Wonder how true this is for Aussie kids – what do you reckon?

Image: sxc.hu